The 12 Days of Christmas

The holiday season proves difficult for some, delightful for others, and then the rest of us get so bogged down in the commercialization of Christmas, we forget to reflect on what is most important.   It is no different for our family.  With 5 kids, Christmas seems like one giant headache. Not wanting to disappoint, but also not wanting to send our pocketbook to the funny farm.  Credit cards are a big no,.. seasonal toys are not worth the interest rate, for these passing fads will have been played through and tossed aside much sooner than you can finish paying for it.   This year I am trying hard to turn a blind eye to commercialization. My Christmas shopping has been mostly from the homemade category.  I have thus far, a knitted hat ans scarf for my youngest son, homemade sweets for all my kids, homemade Christmas tree skirt and nativity scene. Homemade Christmas tree ornaments and Christmas cards and tags.  My sister says to me, "Yeah, but YOU can do all that... what about those of us who don't have a creative bone in their body?!" Then let those of us who are creative help you!  There is a worldwide handmade community right at your fingertips,.. it is called Etsy.com. Also, check your local newspaper, schools and churches for craft fairs locally. Some of those crafters wait all year to offer you some homemade goods.   My children and I have our own Etsy store... www.etsy.com/shop/knottmom. There you will find some of our handmade cards & ornaments, enchanted reindeer nibbles to sprinkle in the yard to help lure Rudolph to your home Christmas eve... and lots of other neat things. Right now we are having our very own "12 Days of Christmas" Sale! Now thru the 12th of December...  and for all my blog and Facebook followers, enter coupon code "GINGERBREAD" for a sweet 10% extra off your entire order!

Did you know that the 12 items in the "12 Days of Christmas" are actually religious symbols??

1 True Love refers to God
2 Turtle Doves refers to the Old and New Testaments
3 French Hens refers to Faith, Hope and Charity, the Theological Virtues
4 Calling Birds refers to the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists
5 Golden Rings refers to the first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch", which gives the history of man's fall from grace.
6 Geese A-laying refers to the six days of creation
7 Swans A-swimming refers to the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, the sacraments
8 Maids A-milking refers to the eight beatitudes
9 Ladies Dancing refers to the nine Fruits of the Holy Spirit
10 Lords A-leaping refers to the ten commandments
11 Pipers Piping refers to the eleven faithful apostles
12 Drummers Drumming refers to the points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed

I think I may share this at the dinner table this evening!!!  

Now I'm off to make some paper snowflakes with my kids...

Blessings to all, see you real soon!

Thanksgivings come and past...

With Thanksgiving under our belt (literally) things are moving forward.  Things have been really interesting on the Louis front.  We figured out he is having memories of his biological mom and whatever those memories are all the bad memories he has transposed onto me. So we have started the un-raveling process of that rats nest! We started a "Life Book" basically a scrapbook of louis life. It contains pictures of him as a baby, all those hard to look at photos of the past along with his birth certificate and so forth.  He was reinterduced to bio-mom through these photos.  In therapy sessions she is referred to as "Mommy #1" and I am "Mommy #2"...
...that was the first shift in the foundation....
During Louis' last home pass, we decided to bring in some of the Christmas decorations and put up the tree.  Louis and Zoe decorated the tree together, we wrote letters to Santa, and Louis got to meet Toby; our latest addition to the family! (Toby is a [from what i can gather] cross between a St. Bernard and a Golden retriever. Though he is just a pup {around 2yrs} he is NOT hyper, doesn't jump and tolerates every pull of the tail, yank of the fir, and poke to the eyes!  The perfect "therapy" dog for our family)
Louis was looking at the stockings on the wall that i had hung and was asking about his stocking. I pointed it out to him and he ran to yank it off of the wall.  I stopped him and he said "But i want to take it home with me." I said "Louis, this is your home."     Can you hear the Hallelujah chorus?!?!?!    he has finally made that difference/connection in his mind!
....another shift to the foundation....
As we go further into the Christmas season, it will prove interesting. This is the worst time of year for some people, but a wonderful opportunity to show him even though he doesnt always get what he wants, he will always get what he needs!

As time goes on, I will be adding more to this blog about our adventures with Louis. Struggles, mile-stones,... and anything else I come up with... It isnt exclusively a RAD blog,.. but more a life blog...

On another note, after Christmas, my etsy shop will still be there, but I wont be adding to it as frequently.  There is just way to  much going on in our childrens lives for me to tuck away in a corner making things... As me and the children make things, they will go up in the shop, but we are at a turning point it seems and i don't want to miss any of it!

Etsy on Sale

Here is the cool link to our Knotty list...aka... our holiday sale!

http://www.etsyonsale.com/shop/knottmom

Have a blessed day!

The very BEST interview with Martha Stewart EVER!!

This is hilarious! Its worth taking a few minutes to go watch it!

http://social.entertainment.msn.com/tv/blogs/tv-buzz-blogpost.aspx?post=d66a3ca4-e207-490a-8842-477e34afbb1b&GT1=28103

LOL Hilarious!!!   LOVE IT!

Last post continued...

For some reason, that didnt post like it showed... so lets try it this way!

http://arealradmom.blogspot.com/2010/11/when-others-don-not-understand.html?spref=fb

This is what i was trying to post.   When RAD Moms unite, we are strong!  :?)

and here is another article I found quite intriguing...

http://www.attachment.org/pages_parents_articles20.php

It is entitled "The Power of Prayer in Parenting  by Nancy Thomas"

Reactive Attachment Disorder is a biggie, but, with the proper mindset, the right heart, and faith; it is one mountain we can defeat!
 

A borrowed post that MORE than applies!

Thank you Jamie for posting this!  The more people that know about this, the more "maistream it becomes, the easier it will be to help children later on!  There is hope! This is "curable"!  Don't give up the fight!

11.11.10

When Others Don Not Understand

 If you don't get it please read this it is from my book:
 When love is Not Enough (A guide to Parenting children with RAD) excerpt:

Chapter: From Others Toward RAD Parents

Other abuse that Parents often endure comes from clueless outsiders. They say things like you

Parent too tough, like a Nazi

Are not strict enough

Are crazy or have Munchausen’s Syndrome, Borderline Personality Disorder, are Histrionic etc.

Are a bad parent

Don’t like/love the child

Scape-goat the child

Are not trying hard enough

Just need to love him more

These well-meaning outsiders have no idea how deeply these things hurt and how much damage they do with their attacks. Our children have special needs and require much more time, energy, patience, and love. Those critics do not know of what they speak. The best way to deal with them is to educate and inform. If that is unsuccessful, do not interact with those that will drain your energy and take your focus from healing the heart of your child.

Nancy Thomas gave me and anyone else who needs it permission to copy the following letter below to give to anyone who doesn’t seem to understand.

SPECIAL NEEDS FOR SPECIAL KIDS

Written by Nancy Thomas

Children with broken hearts and wounded minds have special needs. When children have an early separation, abuse, neglect or medical interventions they are at high risk for Attachment Disorders.

If you had child “A” with diabetes and child “B” standing next to him that was healthy would you look at child “A” and say , “He doesn’t look like he has diabetes to me!”? People do that all the time to parents with an emotionally disturbed child!! How rude and discounting! What if child A & B were both at a birthday party and were both given big pieces of cake because “all children should be treated the same”? Child “A” could end up in the hospital. It is the same with children who have special needs because of mental illness. If they are both given the same privileges a child with Attachment Disorder will not feel safe and could end up in the hospital (psych hospital)!

Picture yourself as a parent of child “A” that must be given insulin injections to sty alive. Imagine how painful that must be to have to cause pain to a loved one to keep them healthy! What if some well-meaning, clueless person stood by as you had the needle poised to inject your child with life sustaining insulin and said “Oh! Don’t do that! It’s mean! I don’t do that to my children and they turned out fine!” Would it make it any easier to do what must be done for your child? Would it help the child who must endure the injections? Why then do folks feel it is okay to do it to parents with children that have wounded minds?! Children that are sexual perpetrators or violent with others cannot run and play with other children. Other parents do not understand how quickly one of these children can grab a crotch or poke out an eye and often judge and condemn parents for keeping their child in close and out of trouble rather than realizing how difficult it is to watch them every second to keep them and others safe. How tacky is to explain to every intruder that your child has this problem and how humiliating for the child to hear it told to all!

What happened to trusting and honoring each other for our efforts to help our children? Parents love their children and are doing the best they can for them. Ho about supporting and encouraging those with difficult children! Yes, there are wackos out there, but thankfully they are few. The rest of us parents are doing the best we can. We all make mistakes but we make less when we are supported and understood than when we are judged and condemned. You want to help? Let a parent know what they are doing RIGHT and give them a hug and a smile!

Every Thanksgiving...

I try to make homemade Cranberry Chutney. It is soo yummy. I make it fresh and is a nice treat instead of the usual canned cranberry sauce.  So since I am sick, I thought I'd go easy on myself tonight and share this recipe with you.

                                                  CRANBERRY CHUTNEY

serves- 4

1/2 cup cranberries frozen/thawed                           1/4 cup onion, finely diced
3 tbsp sugar                                                              1 medium apple, peeled, diced 
1 tbsp brown sugar                                                   2 tbsp raisins
1/2 tsp cinnamon                                                   
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp cloves
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup celery, finely diced

In a medium-sized sauce pan, bring water to a boil. Add all the above ingredients EXCEPT apples and raisins.  Simmer for 15 minutes. Add apples and simmer for an additional 10 minutes, or until apples are soft. Remove from heat and stir in raisins while sauce is still hot. Cool Thouroughly.
    Serve as an accompaniment to carved turkey.
***  I prefer to use fresh cranberries and cook them until they are no longer firm, then use them in the recipe.  Also, I use golden raisins for my picky eaters.. they think they are apples and I will use the (Granny Smith?) apples, the yellowish green ones for baking. I also quadruple the recipe for my family of 7.***

I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as I do!  Have a blessed Thanksgiving!